Monday, January 17, 2011


An explanation on why we stopped for awhile...

My last post was on September 4th, 2010. The day we all landed back in the United States after our return trip from China, and the day that Jade-Rose became a US citizen.

I have two reasons for not posting in the last 4 months. One of them was because I was considering creating a different blog to document our future lives as a new family and keeping this blog as just the adoption process and travel blog. My second reason was because I wanted to give Jade-Rose some "space" and time to adjust to her new life with her new family, without having the pressure to continue with an adoption blog.

Many people have commented to me that they wished we had continued, and then something happened today that made me want to continue on with this blog and our lives.

I have a penchant for design and decorating, even if I no longer have much time to do either with three 6 year old children and dealing with the clutter that seems to cling to them. Since I cannot do much myself, I still love to read blogs whose focus is of that bent. My absolute favorite is The Lettered Cottage. Layla, the author, seems as lovely in spirit as the home she designs for herself and her husband. Just recently, she has shared on her blog that they are in the process of adoption. Certainly I am going to be supportive of that!

The Lettered Cottage also has a presence on Facebook. Layla made a post about meeting with other women who have adopted internationally. Most people made comments of interest and support, except for the one person who posted: I wish people would adopt from their own lands.

This is certainly not the first time I have read or heard that comment for myself. I felt compelled to leave a comment in reply: When we first started our adoption process, we had no specific areas selected, and investigated many options. China
was not even on my radar screen in the beginning, but that is where God led us. God doesn't look at country borders made by man. He looks at love and the children who need love, and sends some of us to foreign regions to love a child. My daughter is such a perfect fit to our family, that it often leaves me speechless. Love is Everything, and all children need Love.
and it also turned out to be the catalyst that got me back on this blog.

This is a concept that I would like most of you to understand, and perhaps educate others who make such ridiculous, judgmental (and borderline racist, let's be honest here) statements about international adoption. If you believe in God, then you may believe that He created the Earth and the Heavens and Mankind. He did not create ANY of the country borders created by man. If we are "to love our neighbors as ourselves," as it states in the Bible, that has to include ALL of our neighbors, not just John Smith in the split-level down the street. When I hold my daughter in my arms and look into her eyes, the love I feel for her is all encompassing. My love for her feels exactly as the same kind of love I feel for my biological children. I don't look down at her face and think "oh, what a sweet Chinese child." She feels like mine. She feels as much as mine as if she came out of my uterus. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? I am only suppose to be able to love a child that comes out of an organ in my body? Or that came from a place with a 5-digit zipcode? Where is that in the Bible or any other spiritual context?

However, here is something that does come from the Bible:
Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, `Give them up!' and to the south, `Do not hold them back.'
Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth--
--- Isaiah 43: 5-6

Normally, I am not someone who quotes from Scripture. But if it helps the ignorant to come to peace with their "not adopting from their own land/country" comments... then there you go!

Jade-Rose is our New Blessing in Tallahassee. All children are Blessings no matter what town or country they live in. I have 3 Blessings that mean the world to me. If you care to follow our story and share in our blessings and our love, you are always Welcome.


  1. Amen, sister! I think those "ignorant" people just see all the children in the US who need good homes as well as the ones in foreign lands... Perhaps it may not be the racist statement in which you may have perceived or interpreted that specific comment? Maybe not, too!? I did not see it or the context. I believe that we are all the same... I just think that the person uttering those words to "stay home to adopt" was only thinking of the homeless or abandoned children of America who are in foster homes for a very long time and need adoption as well. I know it was out of your hands, though, and you just went where God called you. Amen to you! XO Love and hugs.. and so happy for you. Trish

  2. I think that is a good and valid point Trish. And for people who want to encourage others to consider the Foster Care system in our country, it is a worthwhile endeavor. Particularly when it comes from a family who have already adopted via that avenue.
    Perhaps the comment on Layla's post was meant in that innocent fashion. But from personal experience, I have actually had people debate to my face that I should ONLY be going that route, and any other avenue that I felt led to, even if it meant around the world instead of around the block, was wrong.
    I'm willing to accept my catalyst comment was meant in the best context, but it certainly stirred in me the need to respond. Those of us who have adopted internationally face this from time to time. I don't want my post to be controversial, just educational.
    Love to you, too!

  3. Great post Donna!

    I did have the urge to tell "Mel" that I know he/she wishes that "people would adopt from their own land", but that I wish that some people weren't so downright rude. :-) I mean, I JUST announced that we were adopting from Ethiopia for goodness sake! What a weirdo for posting that comment on my Facebook page, huh? :-)

  4. Thanks Layla.
    Adoption is a beautiful thing. I don't understand people who make the "adopt from your own country" comments (Mel will not be the only person who says that to you. But I will guarantee that no one who has adopted any child, from anywhere, will say that to you. It will only be from people who have never adopted, and who have other prejudices besides this one.)
    There are so many needy children all over the world, are we suppose to turn our heads if one reaches out to us...literally or spiritually?
    You will find that 99% of people will be loving and supportive of your adoption. It's those people who will help you ignore the less sensitive ones.

    Anyway... I'm excited for you and the journey you and Kevin are about to undertake. When it gets scary or emotional, pop on one of the boards or blogs. There are many, many of us here who have been through this process and can talk you through it. But I'll tell you... it's glorious when you hold your child in your arms! It will all be worth it.
    (Even the occasional crappy comment. :-)

  5. Good for you!! Glad to see you are blogging again. I always look forward to see how the kids are doing. Blessings


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